All relationships go through their ups and downs and heated discussions and disagreements are a normal part of a healthy relationship. But there comes a time when a relationship’s sweetness turns sour and the healthy fights become bitter and overwhelming.
Sometimes, relationships can begin to fade almost as soon as they’ve begun and other times they can disintegrate over the passing months. Eventually it may become impossible to deny the fact that your relationship is falling apart. But sometimes it can prove more difficult to pinpoint when your relationship has run its course. To help, we’ve listed 5 signs to watch out for when your relationship may be failing.
5Something just isn’t right
This is a complex and difficult thing to pinpoint, but it may serve as one of the most potent signs that your relationship is in deeply troubled waters: the general feeling that something isn’t right. A constant, nagging doubt that your relationship may not be right for you is not something you should ignore.
Of course, we’re not referring to the moments after heated fights or in times of extreme stress when you get a sense of being overwhelmed. We’re talking about the moments when all is calm and well, and yet you still can’t shake the feeling that maybe this isn’t where you’re supposed to be or the person you shouldn’t be with.
Oftentimes when relationships end, people will note that they knew long before the final moment that their relationship was ending but ignored it in an attempt to keep it alive.
4Not letting go of the past
When you or your partner cannot let go of past mistakes or wrongs that have happened between you, it may be time to end your relationship. If one of you has done something to wrong the other and you have discussed it, dealt with your emotions and chosen to stay together and move on, the healthiest thing is to let those wrongs stay in the past. If your partner won’t let you forget your past mistakes or you can’t seem to let go of theirs, it may be because the past was something you couldn’t get past and your relationship simply couldn’t recover.
3You’re making excuses to stay
When you find yourself considering the end of your relationship, what comes to mind first? Is it the loss of your friendship and relationship or is it the disappointment your family will feel or the fear about losing your home? Do you worry about what your finances would be like or wonder which of you would get the car?
While its normal to consider all the repercussions from the end of a relationship, especially a long and involved one, what isn’t healthy is when those repercussions becomes the reason you stay together.
If you keep your relationship going because of the issues that may arise or the fear of being alone, you are doing yourself and your partner a disservice.
2You’ve lost trust
Are you still comfortable going away for the weekend to visit family or having your partner leave on a work trip or do you wonder what they’re doing?
If you catch yourself questioning your partner’s fidelity or wondering if they are lying to you, a fundamental part of your relationship has been lost.
Trust is the building block of any relationship and when it is gone and cannot be recovered, most relationships will fall too.
1You can’t see the future anymore
Did you used to be able to imagine where you were going with this person? Could you envision a happy future only to now have it become a hazy, gray path? If you can no longer picture yourself getting married, buying a home, or growing as a person with your partner, your relationship may be failing.
If you plan events for the future and add the words (silently or not) “if we’re still together…” to it, your relationship is on rocky ground. The ability to picture yourself with someone long-term is something that is fundamental for the happy growth of a relationship and without it, a breakup may not be far behind.