If someone develops real feelings for another person while married, is the marriage still salvageable? Or does that mean the relationship is already over?
Replies say a marriage may survive only if the outside attachment is fully ended and both partners want to rebuild honestly.
When someone is in love with another person, the spouse often feels like they are competing for their own marriage. That is humiliating. I would not want to beg someone to choose me.
That line about competing for your own marriage is heartbreaking but true.
People can develop feelings in messy situations, but what they do next matters. Feelings are not always chosen, but feeding them is. Pursuing the person, hiding messages, and making plans are choices.
I think it depends on whether the person is willing to fully end the outside attachment. You cannot rebuild a marriage while keeping one emotional foot in another relationship. If they are still protecting the other connection, the marriage is not really being chosen.
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