Going through a divorce can be overwhelming for everyone involved. When you and your spouse first decide to divorce, it may feel as though everything in your lives changes; all at once. If you’re not careful, going through the divorce process could turn into a nightmare for everyone involved. However, if you make a plan and commit to surviving the process, experts say you can keep the process as peaceful as possible.
1. Communicate Clearly and Consistently
Many people say that communication is the key to a good marriage. However, when your marriage has ended, communication can also become the way for both you and your spouse to get through this challenging time. Both of you will have feelings about the details of the divorce, and by listening to each other as objectively as you are able, you may both emerge with the least amount of emotional damage. Do your best to stay respectful towards each other – especially in front of your children.
2. Establish Boundaries for Emotional Safety
Boundaries are essential in every relationship- even those that are unraveling. If you and your spouse are comfortable communicating face to face, that’s often the best way to negotiate the essential details of the legal agreement you will make. However, if that’s too difficult for either of you, find a way both of you can have your needs made known. For example, some couples use Zoom (with or without their lawyers present) but other couples find they cannot communicate with each other except by using their lawyers as spokespeople.
3. Maintain a Childcare Routine
If you and your spouse have children, they’ll feel the effects of the situation; each in their own way. Part of helping your children get through the divorce process will include keeping their daily routines as consistent as possible. If you’re able, you and your spouse should try to agree on a custody arrangement before the divorce goes to court. Remember that your children will spend about 3/4 of the days each year with whichever parent is awarded custody.
4. Share Your Children’s Activities
If your children are involved in a sport or a club, you and your spouse should agree to share those activities with them. If the children enjoy an activity that you and your spouse enjoy, you could participate in that activity with them. If your kids aren’t yet involved in an activity, you might suggest swimming. After all, according to Comfy Living, going swimming is one of the top five most popular activities in the U.S.
5. Get Help to Get Through It
In addition to the emotional challenges of your divorce, you will also need to face legal challenges. To protect yourself and your children financially, contact a family law attorney. They can help you through the legal steps of obtaining your divorce, and they will go to court with you. If you or your children do have difficulty with emotional issues, don’t hesitate to talk to a trained family counselor.
6. Keep Your Online Information Safe
As your divorce procedure progresses, you may save some of your personal information on your home computer. You may also share your personal feelings with friends, by email. It’s essential to protect all the personal information on your computer with a good virus protection program. Protection is vital – since researchers believe data breaches were responsible for the data theft of over 4 billion records in just the first six months of 2019.
As you and your spouse work through the challenges involved in your divorce, there are sure to be difficult times. Allow yourself to process your feelings, and talk to a friend or supportive family member when you need help. Take one aspect of the process at a time, and be patient with yourself. Change is difficult, but this process may be the best for everyone.
