Although many men seem to feel as if it’s no longer OK to compliment women, this really couldn’t be further from the truth. Modern, empowered sugar babies like to hear nice things about themselves to the same extent anyone else does. And compliments are still one of the best ways to let a woman know you dig her and would like to get to know her better.

It’s just that so many of the compliments men fall back on often feel like they’re not compliments at all. That said, it’s just as important to know what not to say as it is to know what to say. Here are a few examples of alleged compliments no woman wants to hear from the men in her life.

1.  “You’re not my usual type”

When men say this to a sugar baby, they think they’re singling her out from the rest of the pack in a positive way. They think they’re telling her she’s special in a way that really stood out to them. But the woman on the receiving end of that probably sees it differently.

You’re basically telling her that you’re not usually attracted to physical features, personality traits, or values like hers. But since she’s not so bad, you decided to make an exception – for now, anyway. She’ll definitely be wondering what will happen to her once the novelty wears off and you want to go back to dating your usual type.

2.  “You’re so much prettier / smarter / better than my exes”

No woman really likes being compared to other women, especially other women a sugar daddy she’s seeing has dated or slept with. It makes it sound like you’re more interested in trading up on the women you’ve had before than you are in appreciating her as an individual.

And it should go without saying that no woman wants to hear a man bash his exes, either. She isn’t going to feel sorry for you because your exes were all “crazy” and feel inspired to do better. She wasn’t born yesterday, so she’s well aware that you’ll be talking about her this way one day when and if things don’t work out.

3.  “How are you still single?”

A lot of men choose to say this to a woman at some point during the “getting to know you” phase, and pretty much all of them think they’re expressing how utterly amazing they think she is. But what they’re really doing is buying into the old-fashioned belief that women are only single when they haven’t been lucky enough to be snapped up by a man yet.

In reality, there are many reasons why a sugar baby might be single, but the most likely one is that she’s single because she wants to be. A high-value woman doesn’t see herself as needing a man. But she may well want the right man, whether that’s a successful sugar daddy who will take care of her, a traditional type who will make a good father, or something else entirely.

4.  “You’re so much prettier when you smile”

Although a lot of men are finally catching on to the fact that women really hate being told to smile, whether it’s directly or indirectly, there are far too many who still think it’s a good idea. Telling a woman that she’s prettier when she’s smiling or implying in any way that she should be smiling all the time isn’t a compliment, and she won’t take it as one.

Women don’t exist to decorate the world or to make men feel better about themselves by smiling at them. They’re people who experience a range of emotions that may or may not show up on their faces, and they don’t owe it to anyone to express any one specific mood at all times. Just tell her she has a beautiful smile and leave it at that.

5.  “You look just like _____”

You can fill in the blank with any possibility you want – a celebrity, a fictional character, her mother, etc. There is no possible twist on this statement that doesn’t have the potential to backfire in a big way, so it’s best to just steer clear of it altogether. Remember, most women don’t want to be compared to other women.

Plus, you never know when a particularly empowered sugar baby will take that particular comparison as a negative. After all, you and the rest of the free world may think Jennifer Lopez is the hottest woman alive, but the woman you’re comparing her to might not. And if there’s any truth to the comparison, there’s a high likelihood that she’s thoroughly sick of hearing it.

The best way to compliment a woman is to just be genuine and sincere. Don’t fall back on cheesy lines, tired clichés, or things you’ve heard your friends say to women. Just be yourself, appreciate her for who she is, and say something that reflects that.