It’s an awful thing to consider if the person you chose to commit to is being unfaithful, but with many relationships and marriages ending due to infidelity, it’s also not uncommon. If your relationship has reached a point where you find yourself wondering about your husband or boyfriend’s actions towards you or another woman and red flags are going up, you may be faced with the difficult reality that your partner may be unfaithful. While there is no sure-fire sign of infidelity apart from a confession, here are some tips on how to spot a cheater.
1He has begun to dramatically change his appearance
If your husband who was always a couch potato and sweat pants aficionado is suddenly buying expensive clothing and going to the gym, this could be a sign he may have met someone else. Medical advice aside, usually when a partner starts a new workout regime, they are interested in involving their spouse or talking about why their began working out.
If out of the blue, you notice that your husband is now spending hours in the gym, manscaping their bodies and buying new underwear without any input from you, there is a good chance that input may be coming from elsewhere.
2You notice a sudden uptick in his time spent away from home
New relationships take a lot of time and energy, so if your husband or boyfriend has started to stray you may notice him spending an inordinate amount of time away from home for no real reason. If your husband’s job never kept him after 5 and he’s now claiming to be at the office until 9 or 10 at night with no change in scope or responsibilities, he may be trying to hide something.
Also, if your husband consistently begins to ‘go out with the boys’ without wanting to name who was there or to walk the dog for 2 hours at a time, you may need to sit down and ask him if he’s involved with someone else.
3He has new moves in the bedroom
When your husband pulls a new move out of nowhere in the bedroom, you may be thinking, “where did you learn that?” and you would have good reason to. New moves in the bedroom or new requests (such as asking you to get a Brazilian wax or wear a certain type of underwear) might be signs that he is having an affair. Keep in mind, if you two have been working on spicing up your relationship this could be a positive sign of him opening up, but new moves are often a huge red flag.
4He has started to hide his phone and email
When you live with someone, you get used to seeing their phone lying around with messages from friends flashing on the screen or their laptop open with Facebook in a tab. This unassuming openness is common in a healthy relationship because you have nothing to hide and wouldn’t even consider your conversations interesting enough to eavesdrop on. But when an affair starts, all this can change. Suddenly, his phone will be as protected as nuclear plans with locked down passcodes and never out of his sight. His Facebook will be constantly logged out or cleared and his laptop will be password protected the moment it’s closed (and you won’t be allowed to know any of those passwords). While privacy is important in a healthy relationship, this sudden shift in behaviour will often signal that your spouse is hiding his or her communication with someone else from you.
5Your intuition is going nuts
This one may seem odd and you’ll have to be very honest with yourself if you are a paranoid or jealous person naturally, but often a person’s intuition is the first sign that something is wrong. You have been with your partner for years. You know their preferred toothpaste, their laugh and what they like in their coffee. When things start to change, you will notice that too. Even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself, often the first signs of infidelity will be things you can’t put your finger on. The way he pulls away when you go to touch him, his distracted replies or sudden anger. All of these things coupled with a few signs from the list above may unfortunately point to another woman.